Film School Confidential

For mothers’ day I took Marni to see Art School Confidential. It was great to have a few hours to ourselves—for Marni more than me. She’s the one with a 7-month-old strapped to her waist all day. The movie was crap however. I mean really bad. I came away with the feeling that someone made this movie with some other motive besides making a good movie. I think this is the product of some marketing meeting where a guy in a powder-blue suit and very un-stylish glasses stood up and pointed out that based on his research, spoof movies starring John Malkovich and Steve Buscemi always make at least enough at the box office to be worth making. I know the story is that the movie was adapted from a comic strip, blah blah blah. I’m no movie critic–I guess we all should be considered critics–but I just don’t see how this movie ever made it to the big screen without someone stopping the show and saying, “Whoa. This sucks. We can’t actually show this to people who paid their baby-sitters $40 for the night off to see a movie and then another $8 at the box office.” It could be worse, we could have seen this in New York where tickets would have cost $11.

So what can I do to make sure that I don’t blow another night off on a stinker of a movie? Well, I hit the web to see if?anybody else thought as little of the movie as I did.? I didn’t have to go far.? Thank God for Google.? I entered the title of the movie into Google’s minimalist search box, and up popped “Results 110 of about 28,800,000 for Art School Confidential. (0.10 seconds).”? 0.10 seconds!? Holy shiggle Batman!? That’s fast.? The best part, is that finally, the not-what-you-asked-for links at the top of the page–usually populated by paid advertisers–turned out to be the most helpful link of all.

The link took me to Google’s Reviews page for Art School Confidential.? This was fuggling awesome!? There, laid out before me, was a summary of several reviews for this film.? All I had to do was to find the reviews with the lowest rating, and realize that here were some critics with good taste.? I added those critics to my favorites page and went to bed secure in the knowledge that a shigoogly movie won’t cost me $66 anymore.

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